Dr. Hook at The Sydney Horden Pavillion

The Dr. Hook medicine available on the Capitol label has been widely used in the U.S. and England for several years but only recently in Australia. RAM (Rock Australia Medical) ran recent tests the results of which follows.

The Prescription :
  • 500 mg. Dada Dementia
  • 100 ml. Country Rock
    (Southern Anarchic type)
  • 1 Drummer - heavy as mercury
  • 1 Bass Player - solid as Ayers Rock
  • 1 Keyboard player
    (an effective tinkle here 'n' there )
  • 2 Guitarists -
    tastefully restrained manic/schizophrenics
  • 2 Front Men -
    both with cuckoo's nest credentials,
    one with whiskey sodden voice ~
    capable of several octaves.
    Tthe other with an eye patch
    and hypertense C&W voice.  

At large indoor venue, preferably in company of a few thousand mates, with police and ambulance assistance close by. Wash down with liberal draught of Wild Turkey.

In a recent test sample taken at the Hordern Pavilion , one of the front men (a Mr Ray Sawyer) demonstrated the dangerous Alabama triple yodel ,whistled a 10 minute conversation with the audience and rather confused them by shouting such items as "You want Dennis ? Well come 'n' git the mother. It's almost Mothers Day anyway".

Dennis (Locorriere) was seen to throw away almost everything he used onstage - several harmonicas, a microphone, an LP and a guitar. He also tore out a guitarist's lead in mid~slide solo , when a sudden urge to sing some more of 'Cover of Rolling Stone' overtook him.

Without going into further detail on the behaviour of the ingredients when mixed, it is apparent that a certain instability after partaking the Dr. Hook medicine is to be expected . Patients were visibly agitated , many to the threshold of hysteria , while Dr. Hook shook them through such side~effects as Walk Right In, Sylvia's Mother, Only 16, If Not You, A Little Bit More and Everybody's Makin' It Big But Me. The patients peak reactions were recorded during Carry Me A Little, Freakin' At The Freakers Ball, and The Eagle blues.

Regarding the last mentioned, Mr Locorriere prefaced it by announcing that Dr. Hook couldn'e ever get low enough to be a blues band but they did give it a try anyway. He then proceeded to sing a song which said this: "I'm a High-Flyin' Eagle and I don't give a shit for you" and "I will shit in your ice-cream soda and in yo' cup of tea"

Following two encores , the patients eventually left in a state of uncontrolled euphoria. Many were seen to indulge heavily in hot dogs and drive away quite eratically.

Research Assistant : Chris Marne

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